The Daily Muse

So I was out shopping the other day and as I’m lining up to pay for stuff this guy turns around in the queue and suddenly there’s a little bundle of fluff hanging out of his arms and it was a GORGEOUS little black kitten. And I walk straight up to him and go NAWWWWWWWWWW [...]

5 Things I don’t understand

Driving: especially when young speed demons, drunks and otherwise loons get behind the wheel and play russian roulette with peoples lives.

The Weather: Why aren’t more psychics working for the Bureau of Meteorology? And there should be some kind of reward system where if the weather people predicts the weather for a [...]

Quitting: Tried to quit smoking…couldn’t do it New Years Day because,well…I still had half a packet left. Then I quit last week, lasting all of approx 27 hours. So AGAIN, another ‘last packet’ finished this morning. Approx 11 hours ago…even if I doesn’t work this time around I’m going to keep trying.
I’m sure I [...]

The Dark Side of Wee Willie Winkie
It’s probably a weird way to start the second post of the year so let me point out the obvious, HAPPY NEW YEAR and shit. This part was meant to be scanned in as a paper edition but I haven’t had time to use the scanner at work so [...]

Calling all Loonies, Junkies, Bullies, Prosties, Scabs and basically the rest of you that piss me off.
This year I declare it to be ‘

THE YEAR OF THE ‘NO”

NO, I DO NOT have a dollar to contribute to your drug addiction, room/board for tonight.

NO, I DON’T care if you’re screaming out the [...]

It’s not entirely my fault. This year I have a Kris Kringle to buy for. Aka Secret Santa. Problem is the limit was only $10AUD which buys like…sweet Fuck All. Except for Hubba Bubba. Or Handjobs. I think…shit I should know I live in the red light district after all.
Actually, no. It won’t even buy [...]

I have a confession…I’m a person who overthinks, overplays, overdramatizes do you get where I’m going with this? The only thing I DON’T do is overcry. Those bitches piss me off…needy mofos need to get a life or walk through the burns unit of a Childrens Hospital for a healthy dose of perspective.
Anyway, before this [...]

Lessons I’ve learnt this week;
- ALWAYS check the use by date when the trainer gives you free lollies.
- Leave the over-thinkers in the group to themselves. The Company will break their loyalties down eventually.
- It’s not always such a good idea working with your mother.
- Mid-week drinks are better served in non-windy conditions
- If someone [...]

Firstly…who the fuck schedules training over Christmas? Answer: the company I’m currently temping for. Which…is great because I’m not on the “social cheque” queue. But now I’m part of the ‘please drain all the fluid from my eyeballs’ queue. I wanted my holidays. INCL. Xmas Eve and New Years Eve. Fucking SCANDALOUS!!

Don’t get me wrong, [...]

I’ve written too many drafts and haven’t actually POSTED any of them because nothing seems to actually culminate into an entire blog-worthy post. So here’s my version of the unfinished…combined…it’s like the Captain Planet of blog posts.

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I bought a box of Jelly Belly Jellybeans recently and a workmate is currently ‘Orthodoxly-fasting’ so when I [...]